When your child reaches adolescence, you may see many behavioral changes in them, including teen rebellion. Your children may be answering you back, rarely assist you with household chores, and are determined to break your every rule. Most parents deal with it in some way or another, with some cases being minor and others being serious. As a teen, they might have had their explanations on why they acted defiantly toward their parents. However, as a parent, you would want to know how to deal with a rebellious teen, particularly if they have lost control. This post discusses some of the reasons teenagers rebel and how parents might deal with the situation.
What Is Teenage Rebellion?
Teenage rebellion is an act of highest assertion of independence and little adherence to parental advice during the teen years of a child’s life. It is called a “rebellion” because it leads to an intense confrontation between the teen and their parents. Teenage rebellion may seem spontaneous and illogical for parents, but there are several underlying reasons behind the behavior.
Why Do Teens Become Rebellious?
There are multiple reasons behind the rebellion during the teenage years (1) (2): The word ‘rebellion’ sounds all negative but with teenagers, it is an important part of the developmental process.
Positive effects of Teenage Rebellion
Here is how teenage rebellion can have some positive impact: Healthy teen rebellion is surely a desirable scenario. But it is the negative teenage rebellion, which you need to deal with as a parent.
How To Deal With A Rebellious Teenager?
It may be annoying to see your child rebel against you. But you can face it with these simple measures (4):
1. Stay calm:
Teenagers are still children. Do not get flabbergasted if you do not see reasons for their rebellion.
Be calm and use a polite tone to ask what’s on their mind. Display a non-aggressive body language, expression, and show a genuine concern in your voice.
2. Set appropriate limit::
Punishments do not work the same way as they once did when your teen was a young kid. A teen can get aggressive and may even try doing wrong things deliberately to display defiance.
Do not slap a teen, lock them in a room or stop them from eating their favorite food as a punishment.
3. Have respectful conversation as a friend:
You have been through teenage years too! Think how teens would think and put yourself in their shoes for a while. It will help you use the right words, phrases, and sentences.
Cut down authoritarian phrases (“I am your dad, and I know better so listen.”), instead use relaxed sentences (“Hey buddy, I am your dad and know a thing or two more. Let’s have a chat”).
A combination of nonchalant language and calm tone can help soften the rebellious teen.
4. Explain your intentions:
Your teen will not understand your rules unless you tell them the reason behind them. For instance, if you forbid your teen from attending late night parties, then tell them that you do so because you fear such parties could be places for illicit activities like underage drinking and smoking, and narcotics use.
Take the conversation forward and explain how these habits can have an impact on the lives of teens and even their families. Use examples if needed.
The teenager may better understand the logic behind rules and instructions if you respectfully explain acquaint them to the negative consequences of doing things that are wrong.
Most important, take time to listen to their perspective on the situation
5. Come with a win-win solution:
Discussing limits with your teen does not mean that you have to bend to their demands.
Come up with a solution to the problem. Think of a plan that works for both of you. Say words like “Okay, I will allow you to go for an outing, but on one condition.” It will help the teen feel that you are accommodative and are not just ordering them to do things. In a similar way to parenting a toddler, teens feel more in control when choices are offered.
Having a systematic, step-by-step approach to the teen’s rebellion, where you take time to calm the situation and make space for listening, is the best way to cool down the situation. But sometimes both you and your teen have gotten so angry and upset that the conversation spirals out of control
How To Know If Teenage Rebellion Has Gone Out Of Hand?
Here are some signs that the rebellion has overshot its limits: Speak to your child using the steps mentioned in the previous section. Use your intuition. Experts state that if the behavior of the child seems concerning to the parents, then it probably is concerning (5). There is nothing wrong in consulting a doctor or psychologist. However,try not to get to that point. Take enough steps to prevent such unpleasant scenarios.
How To Prevent Teenage Rebellion?
You may not completely avoid teenage rebellion but you can prevent it from reaching extremes:
References:
